Stoicism, gratitude, and my mother.
Photo by Kristi Rible Scobie
Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus were, among a long list of other things, stoics. The origin of the modern word “stoic” was derived from these ancient times but its definition has since become muddled. Today we often think of someone that is stoic as someone that is void of emotion or someone that can endure without complaining. But, the stoics of ancient times were far more emotionally evolved than this simple modern definition.
Stoicism was a philosophy that believed we have the mental flexibility to frame our own life circumstances in ways that can improve our lives. In other words, the stoics believed that if we could, in the moment, view setbacks as challenges to behold, as opportunities to become better humans, we could then minimize our suffering and banish negative emotions.
Wow, if our world today could practice this, right?
In fact, it’s not too far off base to say that the stoics were the founders of eternal optimism and ‘the setback’ is simply the test of our resilience. In the modern world, psychologists refer to this as the framing effect, Carol Dweck refers to this as having a growth mindset, and others simply call it a positive attitude.
Lightbulb!
I’ve been practicing stoicism all of my life (I just didn’t know to call it this). In fact, I can confidently say I was raised on it. Some days I am better at it than others. And, yes, I lapse. I can have moments of complete breakdown during setbacks, but after a few indulgent hours (or days) of self-pity and woefulness, I remember it comes down to these two simple choices. To rise or to fall.
I think you will recognize these quotes by the great stoic philosophers:
“It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” and “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will” — Epictetus
“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” and “The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.” — Marcus Aurelius
”Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” and “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” — Seneca The Younger
So, on this thanksgiving, when we give thanks and show gratitude, I am grateful for the teachings of the ancient stoic philosophers whose ideas are still as potent today as they were back then. Perhaps even more (ahem global pandemic).
But mostly, I am grateful for my mother, a stoic philosopher in her own right, who taught me that there is really only one choice, one frame.
To rise.
Originally published by Kristi Rible on Medium at https://kristi-rible.medium.com/stoicism-gratitude-and-my-mother-5396c5b2afe6