What a meh year, but I will eat cake!

Photo by Caitlyn de Wild on Unsplash

Today is the first day of the last year in my forties. Meh.

What the F*ck happened to this last decade? I’ve hardly come up for air from my 40th birthday and yet suddenly this decade is now coming to a close. The decade that said “40 is the new 20”, that said “life begins at 40”, the decade that promised the 40's to be fabulous. Bueller, Bueller?

Instead, the decade ends not with a bang but with a flare that fizzles at the side of the road, topped off by a global pandemic. The truth is, it’s a double meh.

But, here is what I also know to be true about this decade that is my forties. I’ve always known who I am, yet this decade tested that, twisted that, and shifted my sense of self and identity beyond measure. However, despite all of that, I still came out as me in the end. The “good-me”, the “could-work-on-things-me”, the “hopeful-me”, and the “things-always-happen-for-a-reason-me” showed up in the end and in a better-than-before version. The truth is that the sun does always shine in the end but sometimes we need the stronger more thunderous winds to blow the clouds away.

So, if my forties have brought me anything at all, they have brought me clarity, clean winds, fresh air, and the strength to build mountains of sunshine. I will not dare give up on the last year of my forties but, when the time comes, I will welcome my fifties with a wildly loving embrace because I know that…

*My fifties will bring me laughter (like the kind that bursts unabashedly from my mother on a daily basis).

*My fifties will bring back adventure that is full and alive with curiosity (like the kind that my father loved to share).

*My fifties will be full of good feelings that I will wallow in, untempered, without bounds.

*My fifties will bring deep conversation and “good” wine in geographies yet to be discovered.

*My fifties will bring the kind of heartache and joy that can only come from raising strong and intelligent teenage girls … and I will relish the minutes we have together.

So, as I sit here “quarantined”, in a mask-wearing world on the first day of the last year in my forties, my action plan for the year is as follows:

*More mountains, less pavement.

*More bluegrass, less news.

*More passion, less guilt.

*More mind growth, less suck.

*More muscle, less … whatever.

*More love, just more love.

And, yes, I will eat cake.

I will eat cake, with my number ones by my side, and prepare for the coming best decade yet of what I hope is a long life. A crystal clear decade that will shine bright and feel, well, just right.

Happy birthday to me, on this first day of the last year in my forties.

Originally published by Kristi Rible on Medium: https://kristi-rible.medium.com/what-a-meh-year-but-i-will-eat-cake-bdaf768ca58c